When the self given gift produces more excitement than anything I’ve given

Roller Coaster

I am on a roller coaster. In a cart for two. I am not sure how the ride is going to be, but my heart is pumping with excitement. Creekcrreekcreek. The coaster moves along slowly, I close my eyes. I’m not sure if we’re even moving upwards. Hand in had, we close our eyes and as they say, tell each other to enjoy the ride. Creekcreekcreek. I am anticipating a drop. A sudden shift, a realization, I’m not sure what. The cart pauses, I let a small breath out and the cart flies at such a leisurely pace. An unexpected, wonderful, soothing pace. Wind flying through my hair, hand in hand, like Driving Miss Daisy. The seasons change, there are some turns, maybe even a hill or two. But then the pace changes. The turns become sharper. Near frightening, but we are still hand in hand. The drops because more dramatic. Bigger. More unexpected. Less expected. Less controllable. More uncontrollable. I hold on tighter. My palms are sweating now. The wind is no longer pleasant, it’s almost a whirlwind. Is the ride going to stop soon? WIll the cart suddenly stop? Go backwards? Fly off the tracks into an unknown, fatal fall? I have no idea. But I keep holding on. I don’t want the roller coaster to end. But the air is thinner and the track is wobbly, and the drops are steep. What is this roller coaster, what is it becoming. Just ride it out. Hold on tight and ride it out.


"i can’t figure out this problem"

teacher: use your head